BLOGGING, INTERRUPTED

I have a wisdom tooth situation which is laying me a little low, and so I'm not up to very much.

But if I was up to it, I would definitely be writing a post about the Fred Goodwin V The British People situation. What kind of a monster ego must you have to preside over the worst business loss in UK history and still feel it appropriate to pocket a pension the size of a planet.

I saw him once, Fred. At the opening of Gogarburn, when I went with Mr Scribbles who works for NatWest. Fred looked such an insignificant sort of man, so colourless and so without any features of distinction that he seemed in danger of dissolving into nothing. Unfortunately, he didn't dissolve. He carried on existing and ran one of the world's largest banking groups into the ground until it had to be bought up by the Government. Now my husband doesn't get home until 7pm every night. But at least he has a job, eh, Fred?

TEN PEOPLE I DON'T KNOW BUT LIKE SHARING THE PLANET WITH

Charlie Brooker - sarcasm without cynicism and an enviable turn of phrase. He livens up the TV and shines a light into dark corners of the mind with his writing.

Darren Brown - the master of all things spooky, who never-the-less rejects spookiness. Keeping it real, in the realm of mind-bending mischief.

Ricky Gervais - funny, clever, callous and never kiss-ass.

Gemma Arterton - the best thing in the recent crap James Bond film, and the best Tess of the D'Urbervilles to grace any screen, anywhere. Will hopefully see the downfall of po-faced Kiera Knightly.

Dave Lamb - Come Dine With Me narrator; says what we're all thinking

Jade Goody - the best antidote to the po-faced snobbery, take-myself-too-seriously, up-your-own-arses, i-hate-celebrity, brigade. The girl done good, and she did it with negligible odds.

John Nettles - no one else can be Chief Inspector Tom Barnaby, and if they ever try, they might find themselves killed by a rocket fired from the top of a church spire.

Richard Dawkins - sock it to 'em

David Tennant - the best Doctor Who since Tom Baker, and one of the best actors we've got.

Russel Brand - original, genuine, and importing something very British into Hollywood. Gotta love that, even if he is loud and annoying.

Have a go yourself, dear reader. I tag everyone who reads this.

Rules:
The person must be living
You must never have met the person
You must be honest and not include someone worthy (boring) just because you want to impress other bloggers

JADE GOODY

Jade Goody is doing what Jade Goody does better than anyone else - she is playing the hand she has been dealt. She came from nothing and she'll return to nothing, as will we all, but what a life she forged in between. Not my kind of life, but then, I'm not Jade. She is.

I won't hear a word against the woman.

BIG BANK BOSS'S BONUS'S

I don't get how any boss, of any bank, on planet Earth, can be eligible for a bonus, yet alone actually be considering accepting one.

By my standards, a bonus is something paid on top of a normal salary, either as part of general profit sharing or because agreed special targets were met. As I understand the situation to be, banks have not made any profit, and unless each bank had as its target "complete meltdown leading to utter destruction of self", then no target could have been met either.

So just what did these men in suits have to achieve in order to qualify for millions of pounds worth of bonuses every year? Brush their hair?* Not get sacked?*

* sarcasm

(sorry this post is not as topical as it would have been had I written it last week. Been a bit busy)

CHURCH TO BETTER EXPLOIT WEDDING MARKET

"We should not be seeking to encourage people to marry for the sake of the church, it's because we think we can offer something distinctive. We're not competing. We're not in it for the money or the numbers. That would lack integrity."

Yes. It would, wouldn't it.

WARNING: SLUSHY FALLS IMMINENT!

"Rain is likely to turn to snow at times during this evening and overnight bringing the risk of 5 to 10cms across the Chilterns and Cotswolds. Elsewhere, slushy falls of 2 to 5cms are probable. Rain or snow will clear eastwards overnight with a slow thaw of lying snow expected. - Issued at: 1840 Mon 9 Feb"

This is the current MET office's "Flash warnings of severe or extreme weather" for the West Midlands.

I still have absolutely no idea what I am going to wake up to tomorrow.

AUSTRALIAN BUSHFIRES

The prime minister, Kevin Rudd, echoed the anger of a nation yesterday when he described such actions as "mass murder". Fighting back tears, he said: "This is of a level of horror that few of us anticipated."

Utterly horrifying.

Peace and Love to everyone Down Under.

SNOW SPECIAL: CANADIANS OFF AGAIN

Another Canadian laughing at us.

Not original!

You carry on love. I'll just snuggle right down here on my settee and watch the telly whilst enjoying some nice buttery toast and a hot toddy, and you go and shovel off your drive and 'get on with it'.

Sucker!

SNOW SPECIAL: LONDON IN STATE OF EMERGENCY

Look, it's covering their rooftops!

Live updates from the Guardian here.

SNOW SPECIAL: MEDIA OUT OF TOUCH WITH ME

WORDS NEWS PEOPLE ARE USING ABOUT THE SNOW: chaos, problems, London, disruption, lost revenue, warnings, bad, severe, closure, travel misery, hypothermia, freezing, extreme ...

WORDS ME USING: beautiful, fun, snuggles, time-off, snowmen, cozy, wahooo!, hot toddy, toasty, snowballs, snooze, snow boots, telly, cat naps ...

If your workplace* expected you in today, or won't let you go early, I hate your boss as much as you do.

*excluding important places like hospitals and oil refineries. Your country needs you.

SNOW SPECIAL: GARDEN VIEWS

SNOW SPECIAL: TWO DIFFERENT RESPONSES

SNOW OFF!

There are two advantages that the British have over their European neighbours:

ONE: We are an island. We've got a lot of coast. Your boat crash on our coast? We take your goods. Ancient right of the British people.

TWO: We have a crap transport system. Snow? Transport system stop. The British people have time off work. Ancient rule.

Lots of British people snuggled at home today.

Wahoooo!