IN WHICH SCRIBBLES SOLVES THE WORLD'S ENERGY CRISIS
So, it would seem that the world is running out of oil a tad quicker than we were lead to believe, yet we are still dithering about wondering whether we should go coal, nuclear or wind as if we had a few more centuries before we needed to make up our minds. At this rate we'll be building the new power stations in the dark with hand tools.
I have a better idea however. Why don't we harness the natural energy of the planet's children? Have you ever studied one? They can go on and on and on and on, with hardly much more than a bowl of coco pops, a sandwich and a few turkey dinosaurs and french fries to fuel them up.
In a futile effort to 'wear our kids out' (every parent's dream, I find) we've been taking our kids to soft play areas - huge jungles of slides, ropes and playframes - and allowed them to go mad for a few hours. But it does nothing. It hardly takes a sip of their oceanic energy reserves. They come home and they want to play bowling on the wii. Whilst Mr Scribbles and I can barely keep our eyes open during tea-time, they want to play after they've eaten, with cars, with board games, with marbles, with dolls.
They don't even need sleep. I feel myself sliding down the slip-road to the land of nod even as I read Alice in Wonderland to them in bed, but their little heads won't even stay on the pillow and they want me to read more and more and more and more.
Instead of spilling this precious natural resource in the soft play centres of the world, why aren't we harnessing it? We could build special places where the kids are wired up to energy collecting machines as they run around "playing" whilst the parents get to sit nearby reading newspapers and drinking coffee (just to keep a eye on things). These centres would be cheaper to build than coal stations, safer the nuclear power stations (as long as the kids are not fed too many E numbers), and cheaper than both. The only running costs would be supplies of Frubes and Fruit Shoots.
I can't believe no one else has thought of this before now. We can all relax and bathe in oil if we wish because we don't need it anymore.



