SHOOTING, HUNTING AND ALL THE ARTS OF HURTING

"The problem lies within families and communities," Dave Cameron says about the problem of youth and gun crime, "and so does the solution."

Claudia Webbe, however, who is vice chair of the independent advisory group to the Metropolitan Police's Operation Trident, said youngsters want to be seen with weapons.

"It's become a lifestyle choice... part of a culture to be part of a gang."

"I think that's what's motivating young people, where a gun has become almost a status symbol demanding respect and power."

What? Guns being a lifestyle choice, part of a culture, a status symbol, an object that demands respect and power? What like when toffs walk in gangs around their 20,000 acre estates in their barber jackets and gum boots shooting the hell out of living creatures?

“He has either a knack, or a source of good luck, envied by other stalkers. When a stag is shot, the other beasts usually take off. But David Cameron has sometimes managed to fire a second killing shot with his .234-calibre rifle at a range of about 100 yards, known as the 'right-left’ technique, before the stags vanish. That shows skill and composure.”

So, Dave's got a passion for guns and killing. Perhaps he comes from a broken home? Or maybe his dad just spent too many late nights at his Mayfair club and Dave came to feel lonely and neglected? Maybe he's just sick in the head.

In any case, I suggest that Dave just shut the hell up and never dare open his stupid mouth to talk about gun crime in this country until he stops using guns and enjoying shooting things himself.

SORRY ABOUT THE SILENCE

Sorry about the silence. My mom and dad had flu and I was being a good daughter, and I've been especially busy with work, then there were some kitchen issues that took up my time and now I have a cold which makes me feel like I'm constantly on the verge of vomiting.

Normal service will resume shortly.

DAY OF LOVE

It's Valentine's Day! Here's a picture of an artist's interpretation of a heart to illustrate my love for all you Small Town Scribbles readers. Don't let such an excessive display of emotion go to your heads now will you. I'd never forgive myself.

THE END OF THE WORLD AS WE KNOW IT

I've been watching a lot of post-apocalyptic dramas lately. I recently saw Dawn of the Dead on TV, watched 28 Days Later on DVD, and I'm on my second series of Survivors.

All of them follow a group of survivors in the immediate aftermath of a virus which instantly devastates the human race. Obviously it's a topical theme at the moment, thanks to Bernard Mathews and his not-so-secure-bio-unit. Before now, much of the story about bird flu concentrated on wild birds spreading the virus. Now it has become apparent that it is the global poultry industry's intense farming methods that have created this mess. Bird flu was never a problem until we started cramming hundreds of thousands of live birds into stifling factories.

I have always said to people on the matter of animal welfare that if you can't bring yourself to feel compassion for the animal, then at least consider the end result of our sick lack of respect for living creatures. Because that end result will always end up harming humans.

It seems ever likely that if this world ever ends, that we will be the direct cause. Whether that is through viruses created through our treatment of animals, destroying the planet's climate until it becomes uninhabitable, or nuking ourselves into oblivion. And if there are any survivors, the world as we know it will still be lost. Between us we can fly airplanes, produce clothes, run sewage systems, operate a banking system. If only a handful of people get to live in a post-apocalyptic world, who will operate or maintain the transport system? Who will grow the materials used for making everyday things like towels or toilet roll? How will we keep a cohesive social system?

If we lose our collective skills and wisdom then the human race would be thrust back to pre-iron age, living on a planet surrounded by the rusting relics of what used to be. We'd have to start all over again. And what are the odds that we'd also make all the same mistakes all over again?

I'm afraid I have nothing much to offer to a post-apocalyptic world. I have no basic skills or special talents that might come in useful. I can't even cook. I've mostly earned my living writing letters on behalf of other people, which I'm struggling to think would find a use. The only thing I can think of that might do some good is that I have a sense of compassion and a strong moral compass of what is right or wrong. The world could do with as much of that as it can get.

WTF?

It just took me two and a half hours to get home from work when it usually takes me about twenty-five minutes. One and a half hours stuck in slow moving and very scary traffic, and half an hour to walk the rest after having to abandon my car in a dodgy side street.

I've never actually driven a vehicle on an ice-rink, but I now feel I have some insight into what that experience might feel like.

I thought this was supposed to happen yesterday?

Pat on the back weather people for Thursday.

Big hot poker up the arse for today.

POLICE STATE?

Or a state where the Police arrest people they suspect to be involved in criminal activity?

Five of the men arrested in the Birmingham anti-terror raids are charged.

MAJOR SECURITY ALERT IN BIRMINGHAM

"Part of central Birmingham and the International Convention Centre (ICC) have been sealed off during a security alert, causing chaos for commuters."

Several people I know have had trouble getting home, including Mr Scribbles. Reports from eyewitnesses that the police were being arseholes. Last I heard there was a "suspect package" found in the ICC that the army were going to blow it up. Let's just be grateful it's only happened here and not in London.

I'm thinking it'll turn out to be a mislaid bag or something. Don't think it will be a bomb. Who leaves bombs just lying around these days?

UPDATE:
it was a "deliberate hoax". Well at least it wasn't an accidental one.

SNOW PREDICTED: QUICK, EVERYONE WORRY ABOUT LONDON

Travel warning as heavy snow is forecast.

"An early severe weather warning was issued yesterday by the Met Office as heavy snow was anticipated overnight which could wreak chaos for commuters into London tomorrow morning"

Heavy snow will not of course wreak chaos for commuters anywhere else in the country.

Or perhaps it's just not as important if it does.

ON CASH FOR HONOURS

This.

DAMN. SOMETHING ELSE TO WORRY ABOUT.

Yes, think we'd all forgotten about bird flu hadn't we? But it's OK because Patricia Hewitt is on the case:

"We are preparing very, very seriously and thoroughly for the possibility of a pandemic flu."

Very very seriously and thoroughly. Well, that's me assured.

"It is a very remote risk, but if it did happen it could be very serious indeed."

No shit! Glad she's figured that one out.

'ESCAPE GOAT'

From Heat Magazine:

"she has been staying in a different hotel room every other night, she's had 24 hour security, she can't answer her phone for fear people will know where she is, she can't order her own food, she can't go anywhere alone. She is too scared to go back to her house because her window has been smashed and hate mail has been posted through her door. She's been driving herself mad reading every newspaper she can lay her hands on, she can't sleep, she can't stop crying and she's thought about ending her life."

This is Jade Goody's life right now.

Meanwhile.

Elsewhere in the same magazine someone writes in to ask where she can find the "gorgeous white hoodie" Danielle "I THINK SHE SHOULD FUCK OFF HOME" Lloyd wore in the house.

BLIMEY!

It's the 2nd Feb and I've seen people walking around in t-shirts.

It's lovely and yet not lovely at the same time.