Come on Dumbo!

I really want Dumbo Davis to win the Tory leadership because the man will provide endless blogger fodder. He's just so funny, is he not? He reminds me a bit of Peter Andre. Yes, really. With Peter Andre you get the idea that his advisors have told him exactly how to answer every question an interviewer might ask, but because he’s so dim-witted he struggles to remember what he's supposed to say, which results in an odd mumbling sort of none-answer that starts with nothing and ends up nowhere. So it is with Dumbo.

And what of the contender-to-the-thrown snapping at Dumbo’s heels? Seeing those pictures of a younger David Cameron in the tabloids on Sunday, sat behind a table littered with bits and pieces which might (or might not) have been used to snort coke, the very expression on young Camos face screamed TORY (not a compliment). And all this talk of having the usual university experience when asked about drugs, the suggestion being that taking class A drugs at university is normal, wink, wink. Well, Camo, I didn’t take class A drugs at uni. They’re illegal you see, and even if that hadn’t bothered me I didn’t have the kind of money to be able to afford them anyway. I had to work through uni, you understand, just to be able to buy such luxuries as Ragu pasta sauce and gas to heat my flat.

And we all know that the only reason it matters whether or not a Tory candidate has a druggie past is that it compromises their ability to take a tough stand on drugs. And the Torys must take a tough stand on drugs. It’s one of their core principles. The Daily Mail likes that sort of stuff, as does Mrs Blue-Rinse-Fox-Hunter-Chummley from Middlenglandshire. They could hardly come out and say they are getting tough on druggies, but the right kind of druggies, you know, those from council estates, not nice middle-class boys at university.

As for Liam Fox, because he didn’t make a crap speech or refuse to answer a question as to whether or not he had taken drugs, he hasn’t blipped my radar much. I will say, however, that he looks surprisingly geography-teacherish considering his right-wingness. Will we see him one day, as he stands at a podium pouring forth bile on asylum seekers and single mothers, in socks and sandals?

My prediction:

For the sake of Labour, I want it to be Davis. I suspect it will be Cameron.